how embarrassing. how utterly embarrassing. hahaha. nv ever ever in my life wld i imagine that i wld do sth like that. but oh well. whats done is done. haha -.- mich saluted or rather worshipped me for being brave.. but ultimately it is foolishness and stupidity that i feel. lol. no matter past or present.. embarrassment still creeps up to my neck and strangles me to shame. damn it. oh well. if its meant to be then its meant to be.. if not.. well you cant fight for whats never yours. haha. at least i said my peace. no regrets whatsoever. right? right. (: (wow i tink im actually starting to partially believe what im trying to convince myself over and over. hur hur) CNY this year is such an unusually sad sad sad time for me.. its not my family that's causing it of course. in fact my family (my mom and dad) are the ones who make me so so so happy everytime i get back (: i simply love them so much. in my secondary and jc days i was too hot headed and stupid to really cherish them completely.. but now i guess since i stay hall 4/7 i really really miss them and love them so much more. i guess its true that time apart does maketh the heart grow fonder? (: u then learn to treasure every single moment with the ones you love. anyway.. vday cld not have pass any funnier.. or more hilarious. all thanks to a certain someone who threw flowers(in a plastic bag) on my lap.. i still cant get over it. ITS SO HILARIOUS! inta end i decided that the plastic bag was priceless and decided to hang it on my rack for safekeeping (or rather for laughing). hahaha nonetheless i really enjoyed myself and appreciated your efforts (: cheers! ahahha also meilin and ping made my day la.. was sucha fun day with them at chinatown! nv regretted a single moment there. ahhaa. we shd go out and meet up more often! ahhaa.. we're all full of nonsense i realise. and god knows how long we spent in that beads shop la. haha AMAZING. anyway.. im already slacking like crazy in my school work.. yikes!! guess a leopard really can nv change its spots. damn it. oh well.. time for some much needed change. its 6am and im getting cranky. so i shall just type random thoughts.

i miss st nicks so much.

yunx i miss you so much too suddenly!!

del you too ):

i want to go to melbourne and visit 3 beloved people of mine (:

i really really really love danny with all my heart no matter how aged or cranky or whiny you become. sometimes i really love till it hurts.

i wish my sister was still here in spore with me.

i wish me ser cheri char jean were transported back to our good ol st nicks sec days.

i wish to be brought back to the days where i truly enjoyed and loved every moment of badminton training in my lower sec and pri school days in st nicks.. where our team was so bonded and we did so many things together. we were the best team ever as a whole. no discrimination just team unity and true love. hardship pain cruel physicals but ultimately fun joy glory victory friendship love (: i really miss those days where true spirit rang from every corner.

i wish you'd leave me alone.

i wish my wing wasn't so empty sad and quiet.

i wish i knew what i really wanted to do in life.

i wish you'd stay and because of you - i wish for the impossible.